Storms Do Pass
Several months ago, I lost my job of over 7 years. Never in the 18 years since I established myself as a nurse did I imagine that I would have to worry about navigating unemployment - and I don’t mean just with the loss of a job, security, and a stable great income, but having to navigate foreign, unknown, uncomfortable territory in regards to my future overall and that of my little family. And hardest of all was having to intensely navigate prior limiting beliefs.
Those that know me know that one of my greatest drivers in life has been to be fiercely independent, sometimes even to a fault. Having been raised by a single mother of six who had chosen less than mediocre men to marry, I made it a point to always be able to stand on my own two feet without having to depend on anyone, and especially not a man. Ever heard that saying “Can’t nobody tell me nothing!?” Well that was my attitude when it came to men for a very long time in my younger adult years, and I’ve had to intentionally do a lot of work to reprogram that thinking, even to this day (when I thought I had figured that out almost a decade ago)… goes to show you how you will keep reliving the same experience until you REALLY learn the lesson.
During this period of time, I’ve had to come head on with this particular limiting belief because I realized once my ‘job world’ came crashing down, I couldn’t rely on myself alone. I had to take a step back and closely evaluate what this stage meant for me. While still maintaining the independence that I’ve worked so hard to hold all my life, I am one of a family of four now, alongside a partner with whom I share two kids with and have had to lean on in more ways than I’m typically comfortable with.
Thankfully to this day, Charlie has accepted me, supported me, and allowed me to do and be all I’ve needed to in all of my randomness and moments of instability. I never felt rushed or pressured to just jump into the next job just to get the money. We have also always shared common goals in how we set up our financial footing and future, so I could dedicate quality time to figure out how I wanted to move forward - strategically vs out of necessity. Don’t be fooled though, this doesn’t take away from the moments when he’d internally freaked himself out worrying about how he was going to compensate for the money no longer coming in, given the provider mentality he has always held given his own traditional values (and which I’ve come to appreciate).
Reminders, Reflections, and Gratitude
I had to evaluate, coach myself through, and keep reminding myself and Charlie what my priorities are, how I want to spend my time and focus my efforts, and with who - now and later. Family has always been one of my greatest values in life and continues to be. What makes life more beautiful is enveloping ourselves with the things and people that matter, immersing ourselves in what and who we love wholeheartedly.
Over 80 years of Harvard School’s research on happiness has shown that our social networks and support system are the greatest predictors of long-term happiness, health, and leading a fulfilling life. Our “social fitness” supersedes our money, career achievements, material possessions, diet, and exercise.
Everyone seeks love and happiness in one way or other, and I’ve kept this in the forefront of how I move and what I do, even when I’ve wanted to stay in my cocoon sometimes. Surrounding ourselves with positive influences and environments that support us while also pushing us to grow, thrive, and just be are instrumental to our overall wellbeing.
Losing my ‘stable’ nursing job of 7+ years was a reminder that we are dispensable. We can be let go by our employers at any point, whether we perform or not. This massive employer layoff was no fault of my own but a reflection of how fragile our economy is and how our lives can change in the blink of an eye - be it a loss of job, accident, natural disaster, death of a loved one, new illness, etc. This didn’t just happen to me; it’s happening all around us, in my field and otherwise.
I chose not to share this life change with anyone in my family or close friends, except for contacts that were absolutely necessary during those few months - those specific to networking, legalities, and/or who I knew would just be a lending ear and nothing more. I didn’t want anyone to worry about me/us, feel sorry, or feel the need to help or overextend themselves in any way. Truth behold, more importantly, I wanted to formulate my own action plan without the influence, opinions, or urgency of others. Due to the understanding that I am no longer responsible for myself alone but have two little humans to care for, feed, and ensure are protected and healthy, if push came to shove, I would have moved this desire aside to make the necessary calls - thankfully it didn’t have to come to that.
I never doubted what I was capable of or who I could count on. Because I’ve maintained my inner circle small and mighty over the years, leaning into those that have consistently added value and love into my life, I knew who I could count on to ‘bail me out’ if we were in dire need, and this has remained true since this part of my story came to light.
This has been an opportunity to express my gratitude and reflect on the many blessings that I have in my life. This layoff was truly a blessing in disguise, one I am grateful for because it was humbling, tested my internal strength and resilience, forced me to challenge my limiting beliefs
My wish is that this personal testimony brings hope and inspires you with the reminder that the storms do pass. You keep moving forward. You figure things out, even when you don’t know how. Things just have a way of working themselves out. We are stronger than our circumstances. You are greater than you give yourself credit for.
As my mother instilled in me long ago, we have all the answers inside of us. We just have to believe, have faith, and take just one step at a time. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even when we don’t know why.
New beginnings, a new year, and an open heart
On 1/6/25, I embarked on a new chapter, a new job and area of specialty, new beginnings. I also took a pay cut by choice and went part-time, had to get a 2nd car to be able to commute since the job is not accessible by mass transit (yes that means more expenses with another monthly bill + insurance), and guess what - it’s okay. It’s what I want and am choosing at this moment in my life - it’s a stepping stone for what’s to come.
New years, new months, new days, even new hours are opportunities to start fresh, take chances, make a change, and make this beautiful life we’ve been given count.
Sometimes you have to take 1 step back before you take 10 steps forward. I have big dreams to crush and haven’t lost sight of what my goals truly are and how I envision my future to be. My priorities are still my family, my business endeavors, being present while planning for my future, and FREEDOM, above all. That’s why I work hard, to show up, and I stick by these values.
Everything and I mean EVERYTHING works itself out in the end, the way it’s supposed to.
I’m choosing to trust myself and in the power of the universe/God/energy. I am banking on myself, with an open heart all along, and you can too.
I got this. We got this! You just have to believe.
Signing off with so much Love and Light,
Barbi
